Decisions&emptiness
With myself, my life, my job.
Everything.
Making the right decisions for myself.
Without upsetting people around me.
How am I going to do that?
I don't see how I can do it.
Decide something that would make me happy,
that would benefit me and only me.
But it would end up hurting others.
I have not been a selfish person till now.
I feel horrible that I have to be selfish.
But I have to be selfish to be able to be happy.
So one of the decisions I have made so far was hard to make.
And I don't know what will happen next,
but I know it is the right decision for me.
Emptiness is what I feel.
I can't seem to do the right thing.
I keep messing up.
When does it stop?
Why do I do it?
Want to make the pain go away.
I want to do the right thing,
for me,for others.
But all I seem to do is make it worse.
"Gdje si sada, kad te najvise trebam...
Nema te nigdje..
Trazim te svuda..
Cujem tvoj glas..
Ali kad se okrenem,
nema te..."
Wednesday
My favourite day of the week.
A very important day.
It is Champions league final day!
Manchester United against Barcelona.
I can't wait to watch it.
My dear friend is watching it with me,
but she does not even like football!
Great! haha
We are getting Nandos take away.
Yummy!
Can't wait.
I hope they win.
Fingers crossed!
Come on United!
(Fun fact, I've touched Andersons bum :p haha
it's the guy to the left)
Another good thing about this day is
that it's 2 weeks till we go to America!
I really need my holidays now.
Need to relax and enjoy myself.
Sunbathe!
I need the sun, it's the best thing ever.
To be in a country where the sun is shining and it's warm.
I got Guitar Hero yesterday!
Finally!
I've wanted one forever :D
I even got the Metallica version!
Oooooh it is so much fun!
I don't know what I'm doing yet hahaha.
It's just great to hear my favourite songs while "fake playing" along :p
Going to get a real guitar later on this year and
try and learn to play it.
Did I put that on my bucket list?
Hmmm
..Bribery..
While I was doing the dishes Ads says:
"Let's make a deal"
I wonder what type of deal he is talking about..
He says:
"If you let me go out next week for the Champions league final with the guys
and you stay at home, you can have the 50 pound vouchers which you can use in
Topshop, and buy something else for 50 pounds. So you get 100 pound to spend on clothes".
I'm thinking "£" to buy something nice for the holidays or watch football with loads of drunken lads"?
Hmmm tough one!
I can always watch the football at home with a bottle of rose ;)
So I said: "DEAL!"
Hahaha. I'm so easily bribed when it comes to shopping :p
And I've been looking at some bits that I want to get!
All things are from Topshop and Missselfridge
..Cravings for the summer..
LA & Vegas here we come!
I'd love to have some new pieces in my wardrobe before that,
but I will be shopping a lot while I'm there..
So I got to keep my hands off shopping for another 3 weeks.
No harm in looking though? ;)
These bits would be perfect to wear in the hot summer weather.
All these are from missguided.co.uk
..Fringe..
But my new fringe :)
Rubbish photos really,
but it's the best I could do today.
Went to see Wolverine today (finally)
I really liked it.
You get to know more about him and it clarifies some things
that happened in the X-Men movies.
I strongly recommend this movie :)
Hugh Jackman was brilliant as always :P
..Uniiiiiited!!!..
They did it again!!! :D
18th time for sir Alex Ferguson!
♥ Manchester United are the Premier League Champions of 2009!!!!! ♥
The game was a bit stressful at times!
Arsenal had more chances than United,
but United only needed a draw to win the league.
And they did it!
It has been a good season.
Bit tricky at the start,
but they made it!
The team is just brilliant!
Will be interesting to see what happens with next season.
Will Tevez still be there?
Maybe, maybe not.
Ronaldo??
I hope he realises he is playing for the best team in the world..
Only time will tell.
Can't wait to see more of Kiko!! :)
Well done lads!!
The Champions ♥
..No good..
Guess I should have known it would all go pear-shaped when
I had my shower incident this morning....
My day was horrible and in the end I just could not find the
will to go out with my old friends :(
I feel horrible,because I had looked forward to it so much...
And I felt like I let my friends down..
But I guess it was better to stay home.
I would not have been nice company :/
Oh well.
Some days are just horrible from beginning to end.
It had its moments tho.
Watched this seasons last episode of Greys Anatomy.
Made me cry sooo much.
That show always makes me cry :X
I know I am a big softie :p
And then I had a few glasses of Captain (Rum) to enjoy
while playing one of my silly games.
Needed to unwind after a long rubbish day....
Off to sleep now.
Hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
With lots of good things happening.
*Keep your fingers crossed for me please*
:)
Night night all of my lovely friends who read this ;)
And the strangers that might pop in.
..Eurovision..
We used to be a few girls that watched it together.
Every year.
I remember when I was only a few years old
and Herreys won for Sweden with "Diggi-loo, Diggi-ley".
I was only 3 years old haha, but I made my mum get me
all the t-shirts with their print on them and
I had all their LP's!
God I feel ancient haha :p
haha, their "golden shoes".
Only the swedes will understand this :p
Even when we grew up we used to watch it together.
And since we now all live in different countries
I still watch it :)
It's a tradition that I want to keep.
Even tho Eurovision gets worse each year.
It was better the old way..
I have listened to a few songs that will be in the final tomorrow,
and I was surprised how many good songs there are :)
I am looking forward to watching it :D
May the best song *country* win.
My favourites so far are
Norway, who have a song that reminds me of gypsy music.
Really good beat.
And I like the turkish song too.
There were some other good ones too!
Bosnia has a nice song this year.
But Sweden's song is just horrible..
What were they thinking of...
I'm sorry to see that Serbia did not make it.
Croatia's song is nice :)
But yeah I guess I am biased :p
..Hot water..
Or the lack of pressure in the showers.
I miss my mums shower back home in Sweden.
Especially a day like this..
Wake up to have a nice shower and sort out my new fringe..
Get into the shower,turn it on and the water is freezing cold!
Wait a few seconds, but it is still freezing.
I am shivering cold and get out of it..
Nothing happens.
NO hot water! :(
I am going out tonight and I don't want to have to boil water or anything like that.
Means I will have to stress around :(
And I still have no idea what to wear.
And then it's pi**ing down outside.
Think I must have woken up on the wrong side of bed.
That was my little rant.
Hopefully things will brighten up...
SOON!
..I did it!..
I got my fringe cut this morning :P
I have been saying I will do it for months now,
but I kept postponing it.
But this morning I went to the hairdresser and asked her to chop it off!
It had grown really long.
Feels weird to have a fringe now.
But I do prefer it :)
Just one thing...
I need to chop the rest of the hair a bit.
Because it looks a bit too long for the fringe.
Will have to do it before we go to Ameeeerica :)
Will tale a picture later on or tomorrow!
I also went to H&M to have a look at the 2nd part of
Matthew Williamsons' collection.
Last time it was all sold out by the time I got there.
This time we were early so I had a quck look.
Some of the things were nice,
but some were over priced.
I would not pay 50 pounds for a silk tunic.
But I did get myself something from the collection!
I bought a lovely pink/multicoloured bikini :D
I fell in love with it and I can't wait to wear it in LA & Vegas :p
This is a picture from the website.
It is lovely on!
Looks much better in real life.
Going out tomorrow!
With my old work mates.
2 of them are having a leaving do.
We are going to Revolution like we usually do :D
Can't wait to catch up with my girlies.
No idea what to wear..
Hmmm...
..Indecisiveness..
Thats me in a nut shell.
Indecisive.
I blame my mother haha.
I was born 2 weeks too late so I was born a libra,
but had I been on time I would have been a virgo.
Altho I'm not sure if I'd be happier with that..
So I'm a person that can't decide things the easy way.
No..
I got to think things over many times before I make a decision.
Which usually annoys me (and the people around me haha)
It can be the most simple thing in the world,
but it still does not stop me from over thinking things through.
Today I went to buy some sun glasses.
The ones that I blogged about few weeks ago
were not possible to get :(
So I had to choose another pair.
I've been to Selfridges 3 times in 2 weeks and tried various ones..
I fell for a pair of blue, crazy Raybans.
But someone told me they were abit too much..
(Why do I listen?! I don't know)
Then there was another pair that were quite nice.
So today I walked back to the shop and stood infront of all these
lovely shades and I had the 2 pairs in one hand while my eyes
were looking at the rest of the 100 glasses haha.
Tried the blue ones and thought to myself:
"Wow, you really suit them."
Then:
"But they're too crazy, they wont always be "in".
Tried the other pair.
"Hmm,they're nice too. More classy and will suit to wear with anything"
Did that for 20 minutes!
Finally I decided to go for the 2nd pair..
I am still not 100% sure if I should keep them.
Here is a first look at them.
What do you think?
Are they me?
Or should I go for the blue ones?
Decisions,decisions..
..Razorlight part 2..
Wow!
The concert was amazing :D
We went to Pizza express first and had some food.
Delicious.
Then we went to Las Iguanas where they have buy 1 get 1 free cocktails :p
Can't say no to that ;)
Got to the MEN arena and had a glass of rose.
And waited for them to come out on stage.
I first heard of Razorlight when I moved over to England.
Ads has been to their concerts before.
Was my 1st time but I will definitely go see them again :)
Brilliant music, I did not want it to end.
Was dancing,screaming and jumping around.
They sound awesome Live.
If you ever get a chance to see them, you should!
You wont regret it :)
Here is a picture collage from last night.
..2 years..
I left my family, friends and a job that I loved to be with the man I love.
(Why is it usually the woman that makes the move for a man?)
It was an easy decision at the time, but it soon dawned on me how
big the step I had made truly was.
I came to a new country without a job waiting for me, and I did not know anyone.
All of a sudden I felt so lonely.
Spent the days looking for jobs and watching day time TV (the horror)
It only took me a few weeks to find a job,
and I eventually made friends.
But it took me a very long time to think of
Manchester as "home".
It has helped that I've gone back home quite often.
And I speak to my mum every week.
We speak more now than we did while living under the same roof :p
I used to be so homesick, could cry myself to sleep many nights in a row.
I am not that bad anymore, but still get homesick from time to time.
I miss my swedish cheese haha.
And some of the candy!
But of course, most of all I miss my family.
My mum,brother and my lil sister.
Miss the rascal a lot! :)
It saddens me to know that she is growing up so fast and I can only
see her a few times a year.
But I chose this for myself.
And I am not regretting moving over.
England is a good place for me,
for now.
Who knows what is awaiting me down the road.
;)
Here is a collage with some of the pictures from the last 2 years :)
...Cravings...
but I can't help it.
Women love shoes.
Why is that?
Some have an obession with them,
they spend hundreds of pounds on them monthly.
Some have 50-60 pairs.
I love shoes, but I don't like spending too much on them.
Because I usually wear them out too fast.
Altho, if I could afford these shoes I would
easily spend £500 pound on them.
Jimmy Choo ♥
Christian Louboutin ♥
A girl can dream :)
...Jason Mraz...
His songs make me smile and they make me want to
run around singing out loud.
Started listening to him last year.
My favourite song is Butterfly.
It is awesome, it's very sensual in a good way.
I recommend you to listen to it.
Another favourite is I'm yours.
The melody is so nice and loveable.
So are the lyrics.
My favourite bit is:
"I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and I laughed"
This part always makes me giggle. Because I can see myself doing that.
and I love this sentence:
"there's no need to complicate our time is short"
Lucky is another amazing song.
It fills my heart with so much love and hope.
(Colbie Caillat sings it with him)
If you've never listened to his songs before I recommend you to give it a chance.
Listen and enjoy.
Would put youtube videos up if I could!
But go listen! Now! :)
...Doing the right thing...
Sometimes we don't know and we have to make
decisions based on feelings or because it might be the
easy way out.
But sometimes it's just clear to you what the right thing to do is.
If you have experience of something happening to you and
it reoccurs, then you might realise what you're doing is not the right thing at all.
It's not easy to accept that you've been wanting something that
was not yours from the start.
You might have bumped into someone that you felt a connection with instantly.
Something unspoken.
Something wonderful.
You might not like what you have to do,
you may even regret it,
but you have to let yourself make the right decision for you.
And for the other person too.
It might not seem fair at the time,
but hopefully you will understand one day and
be happy for the times you shared.
And appreciate what you had.
You came from nowhere,
and put a smile on my face.
You lit the sparkle in me that had started fading.
Made me believe in myself.
Opened my eyes to what I want for myself.
I am greatful to you in so many ways.
Always will be.
...Razorlight...
...Food poisoning...
Spent the whole day yesterday in bed, sleeping and feeling
really ill. Not fun when you got a long weekend and
other fun things to do :(
But what can you do.
Don't feel like eating ever again,
but I guess I have to.
I'm feeling so weak and can barely sit up straight.
Hope you all out there are having a good weekend.
I'm just hoping I'll feel better by tomorrow.
