Follow me on Twitter if you like. I update it regularly.
Most of it is rubbish really.
Whatever crazy thing that pops up in my mind gets posted on there.
And it's quite alot of crazy stuff rattling around in my big Bosnian head.
You can see some of it on the right side on here.
But if you got Twitter you can follow me!

Or you can read my tweets on

Out of order

That's me.

Not in the mood to do anything at all at the moment.
Things are just falling apart around me.
People I love and care about are either really ill and might not make it...
Or they just disappear on me. For months in end.
Others just give up on me and our friendship.

So I've decided to "disappear" myself.
I just want things to be "ok" again. I don't ask for much.
Just that people I care about are well.
Even if it means that I'm not a part of their lives anymore..

If anyone wants to know how I am, leave me a comment and I'll reply.

I hope you all are well and know that I appreciate each and every one of you.

Time to let go

Are some girls not meant to be girlfriends?
Are some girls just good for one thing and the men they love and want
can't commit to them because they don't know what they want or have?

I’ve often heard about a girl that has this relationship with a man
where he is not willing to commit 100%. He loves spending time with her,
but on his terms of course. Usually that time is spent in bed.
They have loads in common and she makes him laugh, but it doesn't seem
to be enough for the man.

The woman does everything she can to make the man see her.
The way she deserves to be seen.
More than just someone he shares a moment of passion with.
She asks herself what is wrong with her.
Why can't he love her the way she loves him?

Is she ever going to be the one for him? Or just someone to waste some time with?
He tells her he cares about her, but he never makes an effort when she needs him the most.

She finally gets courage enough to end things with this man, because she deserves better.
It hurts her. Pains her that he can't see what is in front of him.
She hopes that he will realise one day that he had something amazing, but was
too blind to see.

Years go past, the girl meets other men. That guy she left is sometimes on her mind.
When she walks down the street and walks past one of the places they used to go to.
A song might remind her about the times they shared.

One day she gets a message.
It's him. He says he wants to talk to her.
He asks her how she is. She tells him she is good. She is seeing someone and she is happy.
What about the guy?

He has been seeing a girl for a while and moved in with her. Not long after
they ended things. The girls’ heart stops for a second. She wonders who this girl is that was worth committing to. Someone he barely knew.

She felt so small and lost. What was wrong with her?

But then he says something that shakes her entire world. He tells her he hasn't stopped thinking about her.
That he misses her and what they had.
The girl smiles to herself and knows that she was right.
He finally realised that he had lost something amazing and he had come back to
see if she had forgotten about him.
She hadn't.

But it was too little too late.


This story could may as well be about a man.
I chose to write about it from a womans perspective.

Love is a tricky thing.

Kelly Clarkson

Can't believe I will see her live in 3.5 weeks!
I love her songs so much. It will be amazing!
These two songs are some of my favourite ones.

My favourite part starts at 2.33. Never Again......

And of course Because of you.
This song makes me think about my past that was very destructive.
It reminds me of how strong I was in the end and ended it.
Also reminds me of someone who broke my heart, but not my hope and faith in love.


I really need it lately. Alot of it!
My body aches so much. I'm not going to cry too much about it.
Other people are going through worse things..
But I do need to see a doctor about my shoulders as soon as possible..
I keep postponing the call. He probably wont believe me.. As with everything else..

Last night Adam forced me to have a bath.. I love having baths.. In any bath tub
but the one we got in the flat we are in... But he scrubbed it for ages last night and made
sure it was clean. (I've tried many times before. but it always seemed dirty :( )

So I enjoyed a long, hot soak. I put some drops of Molton Brown Invigorating bath stuff.
Absolutely amazing.

I think I will do the same tonight. And we have decided to watch Pinocchio on Blu-ray :D
Going to turn the lights off and light some candles and just relax.

At my mums during Christmas. Love bathing back home.



Things I look forward to

The coming months:

1. Our 3 year Anniversary. Time has gone so fast. (Feb)

Me and Adam 3 years ago ♥

2. Kelly Clarkson concert with my crazy but lovely friend Us :D  (Feb)
We are going for a nice meal same day.

3. 31st of March. Not really looking forward to this date...
But it will hopefully be a day where things will be clarified once and for all.

4. Moving. I have no idea when it will be.. But I can't wait to leave the flat we
are in now. I am very greatful for Ads' brother for letting us stay there for so long..
But I want my own space now. I want to decorate it and make it mine.

5. Spring. I am usually a summer gal, but I look forward to spring this year.
Just to see all the pretty flowers pop out and to be able to enjoy being outside.

6. See my family. This one would be Number 1, but I have no idea when I'll see them again.
We will go back this year, just have no plans on when. I usually go back home 3-4 times a year.
But this time I don't have a single one planned :/
I'm hoping to convince my mum to come here.. We will see what happens.



I don't really wear rings anymore. I used to like to wear them.
But now I'm more of a bracelet person.
Saw a few nice ones the other day when I was in town with my friend.
I like to wear "different" rings. I used to have a skull one with a little purple bow.
I loved that ring so much, and when it broke I was so sad :X

Now I want a really big one. The bigger the better! But I want it to have a kooky style.

I also don't like to wear gold coloured jewellery.. Used to wear gold when I was abit younger,
but now only wear silver.

Tried this one on and it was nice. Might get it.
It's from River Island.

They had a really cute one there. It was a zebra! But the ring was in gold..
My friend told me to get it... But I really don't like gold... So I'm not sure.
Might get it anyway, because it was really kooky!

This ring is not a big one, but I like it. Might order it.
It's from Asos.

Ok this one is gold.. Yes I know.. But there is something about it that I like!
Also from Asos.


I found this dress on the Motel website yesterday.
Something about it appeals to me.
I might get it end of the month (pay day).
Will have to think about it abit more.
But knowing my luck it will be gone by then..
That's what usually happens!
I can't decide what to do and when I come to a decision it's too late haha.
Oh well.


Would be nice to wear in the summer when I got a lovely tan :)

TV shows

I've always loved watching shows on TV. Especially the American ones.
Ever since I was a young girl.
I used to watch The Dynasty, Dallas, Falcon Crest and Santa Barbara etc with my mum :X
And then when I got abit older it was Saved by the bell, Full house, Fresh Prince in Bel Air,
Melrose Place, 90210 etc.

The late 90's it was Sex and the city (of course) and Friends etc.
Early 2000 it was Gilmoure girls, One tree hill, The O.C etc.

Now it is 11 different shows I follow. Yes you read it. I follow 11 shows.
Sometimes I start a new one, but if I don't like the look of it I give up on it.

But at the moment I watch: (Favourites first)

Gossip Girl - I love this show. It has everything a good show needs.
Good looking people, lots of fashion and alot of drama.

Greys Anatomy
-  I love this show. I think it is my number 1 :P
Love the characters in it and the stories. I don't think I've seen one episode where
I have not cried :X

Vampire Diaries - This is a fairly new show. I love vampire books and when I first watched this
I fell in love with the main characters in this story.
I think I will have to read the books eventually.

I tried watching True Blood, but I just can't stand it..
But I am reading the True Blood books..

Lost - I can't believe it is the last season ever that starts in February. (I hope it's not true)
I didn't like the 1st season too much, but then I got stuck when season 2 started.
Love the way everything is not the way it seems. A
And if you've followed all the seasons you will finally get it! Love it!

Smallville - You either love it or hate it.. I love it. What can I say?
I used to watch Lois & Clarke and that was bad :P But I still used to love watching it!
I love the Superman story..

Desperate housewives - Do I have to comment this one? Haha. I just love it.
It's crazy and funny. It's just one of those shows you watch no matter what.

Bones - I have read all the Kathy Reichs books and she is one of my favourite authors.
So when they made this show which is based on her books I just had to watch it.
I like it. It's nothing special, but it's a show I don't mind watching.

One Tree Hill - Used to be my number one for years.. But Peyton and Lucas (2 characters in the show)
left the show the previous season so it's not the same anymore.
But I still watch it. Want to know what happens in the end..

90210 - The re-make. I used to watch the old one when I was younger and I loved it.
So when they made a re-make I thought I'd watch it. It is not bad.
Some of the old actors are in it.

Private Practice - One of the characters from Greys Anatomy left the show to start her own "spin off" show.
And I liked her so I wanted to follow her new "life" in sunny LA :P
It's not as good as Greys Anatomy, but it's ok.

Ghost Whisperer - I think I'm the only person I know who likes this show..
But I've watched it for ages and I just feel I can't stop.. I like the whole idea of "spirits". 
And being able to see them and speak to them. It's different from all the "normal shows".
Me and Adam used to watch Dexter together. Season 1 was awesome and season 2 was ok,
but then we never got stuck into season 3. I might have to watch it.

I also used to watch Heroes. I was totally in to it, but then one of the seasons went abit "crazy" and I lost interest. It is another show I'd like to catch up on.

Yes I do love to watch shows. I'm quite fanatic haha. But I've always been this way :X

Is there any show you love to watch?


Things change

Life is too short to think of what if's and maybes.

The last week has been very emotional for us.
We've seen someone we love and care about in a way I could not imagine.

It makes you realise that anything can happen. In a very short space of time.

We had decided to focus on the new house this year and we thought we wouldn't
have a major holiday at all. But Ad's has changed his mind now.
And if everything works out with the house..
We will try and save up as much money as we possible can to go away in September.
Most of his family are going to Florida for 2 weeks and he wants to go too.
He found a really good deal for us. There is one thing tho.
The first 4 nights would be spent in another city.
Somewhere I've always wanted to go.

I don't want to get too excited, because we might not be able to do it.
But if we did. Oh how amazing it would be!

So where is it we would go?

My ultimate favourite TV show is set in this city.
And who lived in one of those flats? My all time favourite character :)

Magnolia Bakery & Magnolia caupcakes.
I've heard they have the most amazing cupcakes here.
So I'd have to go there :P

Adams favourite TV show is also set in this amazing city.

If you don't know it by now...

Yes!! New York it is!! I really hope we can make it.
It would be yet another dream come true thanks to my lovely, adorable bf ♥
4 nights in this amazing city and 3 whole days to explore!

Before going to Florida for relaxing and loads of fun at Disney World/Universal etc.


Means the world to me.
I miss my family so much sometimes.
Especially since I moved to England..
I used to visit my gran and auntie alot when I lived back there.
And I met my cousins whenever I had a chance.
But since moving here I don't get to see them very often.
And when I go back to visit I sometimes don't meet everyone I want.
I got quite a big family. I love it! :)

On Christmas day we went to my grans and aunties.
One of my favourite cousins was there with her baby boy.
I had not seen him before, which I feel so bad about.
She is expecting another baby now :D So happy for her.

And my cousin Kevin was there too! He was only tiny when I saw
him last time.
Here are some pictures from that day.

♥ Me and my Mamma ♥


I've decided not to drink for 3 months.
Why? There was not one real reason, but a few.
I think it will do me good. I am trying to be more healthy in life
at the moment. And drinking has been a way for me to "forget" about things.
I'm not an alcoholic. But I feel I'll be happier if I stop.
My last day of alcohol was New Years Eve.
I've not missed it at all. So far.
I think it will be worse when I go out and people around me drink.
I might feel an urge, but I know I don't need alcohol to have fun :)
I'm crazy without it ;)

It's quite interesting when people I know hear that I've stopped drinking.
Most people ask me "why". Only a few say "good on you".
Some say "but you wont have fun when you go out"?

Who says you have to be drunk to have fun? I don't get that.
I used to drink because I liked it. I liked the taste of the drinks I used to have.
But I didn't like the way it made me feel at times. 
Sometimes I woke up next day thinking "what happened last night"?
That's a scary thought.

You don't have to drink to have fun :)

(In my case it was the wine and vodka. I never drank beer!)

Some people might wonder why I've decided to do it for 3 months.
I just thought of a number and 3 seemed to be a fair amount of time for me to
figure out if I want to stop drinking entirely. Or if I might be one of those people
who can enjoy one glass of wine and be fine with it.
We shall see.

A prayer for you..

I've not prayed for years. I lost "faith" many years ago.
I had my reasons.
But at this moment I need to believe.
For someone that I care about and hope will recover and make it..

I've just been told someone close to us is very ill and is on life support.
I don't want to go into details. This pains me just writing about it.
But I hope and pray that she will be ok.
Be strong D. We love you and care for you so much.

I've not prayed or asked for anything since 2000.
But I'm asking now. I'm praying that she will make it.

(Picture is from Google)

Messy NYE

It's taken me some time to do this post,
but here are some pictures of my New Years Eve.
Be warned :P

Started all nicely with lil Ruby showing me her Cheryl Cole dance moves :D awww

Me with the kids.

Think she liked his t-shirt :P

The hosts, Alan & Vicki.
My camera went mad for a bit so some pics were blurry.

2 crazy but lovely cousins :D

Does not take too long (a few drinks) and I want to DANCE! Who is up for it?

Found my victim!

A twirl!

My lovely tights (that got ripped up at the end of the night) :/

Hahaha pissed or what? I did not put this one on Facebook :P
Laugh away, it's on me ;)


Happy New Year!!

Bottoms up!

Too much Champagne?

Nah! Bit more! Haha oh my.

I got some pictures where we are dancing to "Thriller" by Michael Jackson.
But they are just horrible!! Funny,but no! Don't think I want to share them with you :P

No idea what we were doing on the floor. Hmmm.

Me and "mics".. I always think I can sing when I'm drunk. Oh my.

Haha. We are all singing out loud.

Think it's time to go home here :P

(See my lovely tights on this picture?)

And that's a wrap!!
(Not uploaded the worst pictures :P They are for my eyes only haha)

Masochists or Optimists

"In love relationships there is a fine line between pleasure and pain.
In fact it is a common belief that a relationship without pain is a relationship not worth having.
To some, pain implies growth.
But how do we know when the growing pains stop and the pain pains begin?
Are we masochists or optimists if we continue to walk that fine line? "

Carrie Bradshaw - Sex and the City

How often are we wanting something we know we can't have. Something we shouldn't have.
Things or people that are bad for us. We can love someone that causes us incredible pain,
and not want to let go of them. Why?
We tell ourselves that they're not always bad.
There are moments whenthey are loving, caring, the most adorable people we've known.
Most times they can say just one thing that gets us to forget about all the bad things they do to us.

Sometimes I think we love the pain others put us through.
Because it's all we might get from this person we love/want.
But how long do we try to make things work?
How long does it take for us to wake up and realise that it is not worth the pain.
No matter how good it could be or should be.

When is enough enough?


Has begun.

And I've got a bloody cold.
No idea why. So inconvenient :P

My New Years Eve was pretty okey.
Nothing amazing.
We spent the day chilling and preparing a lovely meal.
We had a friend over for dinner and we made home made Mojitos :D

And then we went to Ads' cousins house where I was the guinea pig.
Everyone made cocktails and asked me to try them out.
By 00.00 I was bladdered :P

Have lots of pictures to upload. Some are very bad haha.
So I will keep them for my eyes only :P

I hope you all had a wonderful time and may you have a wonderful 2010.

I've just realised that I have no holidays planned for this year :O
It's so unusual for us.

Nothing really to look forward to this year.
Well apart from the buying house malarky..
Which is looking quite complicated at the moment.
Hopefully it will work out for us and then we can think of holidays after that.

Fingers crossed that we will be going to Florida in September, would be amazing.
Seeing as September is the worst month for me. Always has been.
Hoping to change that!

I also want to start that writing course and get writing on a book.
And I would like a new tattoo.

A very important thing might happen this year.. I can't say too much at the moment.
Don't want to jinx it.. But if that happened then everything else wouldn't matter.

Do you have something to look forward to this new year?

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