Behind the mask - part 1
No one is aware of the pain she is carrying deep within.
If you saw her you'd think she has no problems in the world. She hides them too well.
Always a smile on her face..
But they are so wrong. When nobody is around, she can take off the mask she has been wearing
ever since that day. The day that would change her life forever.
The day the person she thought of as a boyfriend,someone she trusted, would take advantage of her..
Do things to her that would leave scars forever.
So she walks down the streets all alone with this dark secret burning inside of her.
Not willing to share it with others. Because that would mean she has to re-live that horrible day.
Every detail of the assault.
It has been many years since that day. But it stil haunts her this day.
In her every day life. In her relationships..
She cant let a man come to close. Cant let him touch her in certain ways. Because it is too traumatic.
The man does not know why she wont let him touch her, please her.
No he does not know..
The assault left her with an empty feeling.
She did not realize what had really happened til later, much later.
It left her with no self esteem at all. She has always had problems with believing a man who
says she is beautiful. She does not see beauty when she looks in the mirror.
She sees darkness, emptiness and failure.
She does not trust men. The trust issues start within her. She does not believe she is worth loving.
And with that comes jealousy. She is jealous but not like normal people. It eats her up from within.
She makes up the worst scenarios in her head and then she tells her loved one what she believes is true.
Which eventually ruins her relationship,
because she pushes her loved ones away..
After all that
After all that panicing, I now wont need to dress up :/
I had kinda changed my mind about dressing up :p
This is typically me.
Always changing my mind about things!
Oh well. Don't have to run around town looking for a mask.
Don't have time anyways :/
Now the big question.
What to wear?
And where to go.
They asked ME. Doh!
Clueless people
When I meet new people, whether it's through work or out, and they hear my name,
Karolina
The first thing they ask is :
- Where are you from?
My spontanious answer is of course
- I'm from Sweden.
They look at me.. I see that they are confused and then they say,
-But you are not blond.
Haha it always makes me laugh.
Try and explain to these people that we are not all blond. They cant believe it.
-But all the girls in the movies?
Grrrrr! Fy fan sager jag bara :p (haha wont translate that)
Okey, my parents originate from Bosnia, but it's not something I say straight away to people I barely know.
Maybe I should start saying :
- Hi my name is Karolina, I am Swedish/Bosnian?
That does not change the fact that most swedish people are NOT blond.
At least not real ones :p
Like a ghost from the past
The Holiday (2006)
It is such a " feel good movie". It made me smile,laugh and I even shed a tear.
Cameron Diaz is awesome in it and so is Jude Law.
Oh let's not forget Jack Black (legend) and Kate Winslet.
If you by any chance have not seen this movie,then I strongly recommend it!
Amanda Woods 
Iris Simpkins
Miles 
Graham Simpkins and 
Arthur AbbottQuotes :)
Arthur Abbott : " I like this Hugo Boss, he cuts a nice suit! "
Iris : I have found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said,
"Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought.
Graham : " Call me old fashioned but one doesn't have sex with women who are unconscious"
Plenty more that I want to write,but scared I would spoil it for the people who have not seen it! :)
Halloween?
But I think it is a commercial thing stolen from the yankees/americans :p
It always looked like a lot of fun when they went trick or treat-ing in the movies..
But what is the point? I don't feel like dressing up in a silly costume.
Do I sound boring?
Supposed to go to a Halloween party at a friends place this friday.
She said that we don't have to dress up. But what if everyone else dresses up
and I get there all "normal". Hummmm.
Might just get a cool mask or something. There is a really cool shop in town that
sells things like that. And I did see a beautiful mask there this summer. Have to make some
time and pop in there. Not many days left now.
Are you going to a Halloween party? And what will you be wearing?
This one is pretty cool. You could wear something nice with it.
Oh we will see! :)
Shooooes!!
I've just been browsing a few Swedish sites. And I've found some boots I really like..
And if they have them in my size and they fit.... I might be inclined to buy them :o haha
Here are a few that I like
these are ugly but not :/ I like them, not sure why? What do you think? (Bianco)
these are Hottt but too expensive :/ (Bianco)
I quite like these (Bianco)Just wondering why everything is sooo expensive back home :(
NOT fair.
Hmm I saw this dress in the Urban Outfitter shop in town I just think it is loveliii
55 pounds. Bet it would cost the double in Sweden!Saw V
I am (well I think I am) one of the biggest fans of Saw.
And I can't wait to go watch the 5th movie!
I know some people did not like the Saw movies (too gruesome?) and thought they
should have stopped them after the 2nd. But I love all the movies! :D
Now I have to find someone who wants to go with me.
Because Ads does not like them. Grrr
I might have to go on my own :o
I usually end up watching scary movies on my own haha.
Dream away
I can't wait to surprise my mum! She has no idea we are coming.
Sooo excited!
And 7 weeks til Las Vegas! I can't believe it. Staying at MGM Grand.
Going on a helicopter ride to Gran Canyon. Hummm. Bit scary! I love flying.. But a helicopter.
Eeek. Has anyone else done it before?
I am dreaming away while im sitting here at work. Dreaming about all the things I want to
buy while im there haha :D
But it is so cheap!
There is 1 problem though.. We are only allowed 20kg's each for our luggage.
WHAT!?
How am I going to manage?
Wont bring anything with me from here haha
Top 3 things I am deffinately buying in the big country
1. Clothes & shoesssss
2. A new Guess? watch.
3. Make up
Im sure the list will get longer ;)
Mondaaaay
I don't really like mondays. But the sun is shining and it makes me full of energy.
Well usually it does.
Feels like im getting a bad cold. Don't want it! Grrr
Back in work.
My weekend was pretty fun :)
Went out on saturday. Had a lot of fun and too many drinks :p
No pictures though.
I wore my favourite dress.
I got a picture of it from another night out.
Sunday was a lazy day. Love it! I used to work practically every sunday.
But I spent most of the day lazying in bed.
Watched a weird movie called Burn after reading. A lot of good actors in it.
(John Malkovich,Brad Pitt,George Clooney,Frances McDormand and many more)
But it was totally insane!
Made me laugh at times, but then it made me think "WHAT is going on here?"
I don't know if I loved it or hated it. But I think it's a love/hate kinda thing.
I think I recommend you to watch it :)
What to buy when im in Sweden
I always get cheese when im home. Yes cheese. It is the best cheese in the world :p 
here it is. Haha i am a nutter. But nothing beats that cheese!
Another thing I want to get is a bag. Not ANY bag. It is a brand I've always wanted to have.
Not sure what style I want. And I might have to go to town to get it. But seeing as we are only
there for 3 days I might not have time :/ Here is one from chique.se that is quite cute.
Friis & Co ♥
I wont utter the word Sh*es (even though I want loads of them :p )
But if I tell Adam I'm planning on buying some, then im sure he would cancel the trip haha ♥
But the shoe shops back home are soooo much better than the ones here in Manchester.
I got big feet (haha laugh away :p ) but it is not funny when you want to buy some lovely shoes.
And I find it hard to buy shoes that fit me properly over here.
( I can see Adam shaking his head and saying "What about the 20 pairs you got in the closet") Shhh!
A girl can't have too many shoes! ;)
I bet I'll come home with at least 1 pair.
Oh, one thing I have to get is a big bouquet for my mum. She loves roses so i might get her 50 roses :)
And a gift. No idea what to get her. She has everything.
But I'm sure I'll figure something out. Maybe a ticket to come visit us in Manchester :p
Sleepless in Manchester
Tried writing this last night. But somehow I managed to erase it before I could save it and
post it :/ Maybe it's not a smart idea to blogg in the middle of the night.
For some odd reason, I've not been able to sleep the last 2 nights. I keep tossing and turning
and telling myself that I should be sleeping! But that always makes it worse. Doh!
Got some good news yesterday! I am going home for mammas ♥ (mums) 50th birthday! She does
not know we are coming! Only staying 3 days :( but I guess that is better than not being there at all.
Also sorted my holidays for December :) Looks like we are going to VEGAS!! Woohoo. Something
to look forward to. The sun is shining. It makes me happy. Even if it is freezing out there :)
Sooo excited
It might, just might be possible that I'll be going back HOME for my mums 50th birthday! :D
I'm not going to tell her. It is going to be a surprise. Have to talk to my manager first and make
sure I can have 2 days off. Fingers crossed!! Woop!
X-mas abroad?
But this year I don't want to make the same mistake. So what we have been thinking about is to go
away for christmas. I first thought about going back home to Sweden and the family :) which would be
great. Love christmas dinner at my dads with my little sister opening all the hundred presents! Haha.
But we have also been thinking about going somewhere different. Maybe USA? Florida? Las Vegas?
And last night even the word Benidorm came up haha :o shocking I know. I think I would prefer to spend
christmas in a warm place. So florida would be the best bet. I've not been to USA before,but I would love to go.
Imagine sunbathing in december. Oooh that is heaven for me. Hahaha. And all the shopping!
I would love to go home too.. Miss a real Swedish winter. I want snow! Believe it or not. Want to make snow angels
and a big snow man! So the question is " Where do we go!?" Here are some pictures of the places we (Adam,haha) have been looking at :)
Stockholm 
Vårby gård = Home :) 
subway mapFlorida
would not mind being there on x-mas eve/day haha :p 
Disneeeey :p haha i'd be a kid again!
Guess :p
would not mind going to Las Vegas. It's not as warm as Florida... But im sure it would be a lot of fun!
Grand canyon, would go on a helicopter ride there :) Last but not least Beni hahaha
Why are we concidering Benidorm? Well some people we know are going there for new year. It's not as hot in the winter as it is during the summer. But it is better
than cold rainy Manchester! Hehe. We probably wont go there but it's an idea.
So there they are, our choices. Hmm where would you go??
Hmm lost in blogg space
Grrrr and I should really be using an english version. But if I start all over again then I will loose
the stuff I've written so far. Anyways dear readers (not sure if I got that many :p you can leave me comments
on here if you like. It would be nice to hear from you. How to do it? First you click on kommentarer ie comments
and then you can write your name under Namn :p then you type ur comment in the "kommentar box" then
click ROCK ME. voila. done :) hope to see a few comments at least. )
Confused??? That is what I am. Love this picture for some odd reason. Weddings & Engagement parties
together. Marriage is something you can't take for granted. I'ts the ultimate sign of commitment.
Sometimes you hear about people getting married after they've only known each other for a very short
time. But somehow it still works out well for them. Why? I don't know, but I do wish I knew. When I think of how
many marriages go wrong after many years I wonder what is the point of getting married. Do people do it for
the right reasons anymore?? But then I ask myself what are the right reasons? Is it because they love each other
so much that they can't imagine being without each other? Is it because it is what people do when they have been together for a long time? There are a lot of old fashion reasons. I know some people don't think marriage is worth anything at all these days. But for me it does. It has always meant something for me. Maybe I am old fashioned in that sense. But I do see myself wearing a lovely white dress one day. With me, my family, all of us gathered together with the man I love and his family. To show everyone that this is real and we do love each other and want a future together.
But then the cynic will say "why do you need to prove you love each other to others?" "Is it not enough that you know it?"
No, it is not enough. I want to share it with the people I love and care the most about. So there they are. MY reasons. What are your reasons? Whether it's for or against.
Here are some pictures from Adams cousins wedding and another cousins engagement :)
Alan&Vicki, the happy couple :)
Adam&Danny
Maggie&Danny the engaged couple :) 
me&Ruby! sooo cute! 
Paula& me
the brady bunch haha :p 