Wanting
I have a wish that I'm too scared to speak out loud. Because if I do.. I'm scared it won't come true.
I had my chance years ago, but I gave it away.. Not intentionally. I was too weak to fight then.
To say what I really felt.. My life would have been different now.
It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I still have not forgiven myself for it.
9 years have passed, but the pain is still fresh inside my body and soul.
I still want it for myself.. But it is difficult. Something is not right. I can feel it. I know it.
Other people around me get the chance that I gave up. Will I have that chance again?
I'm thinking that maybe I had my chance and I blew it. Maybe I wont have that chance again..
I might not deserve it again.
And it tears me apart. Writing this hurts so much. I can't breathe because I am scared..
What if I can't be what I want to be the most in this world...
(Pictures from Google)
Posts like this give us a little teasing of your life. Things we don't quite know about you.
There's something very sad behind it... like when someone strives for something but they can't quite reach it. So close time and time again but it's taken away.
I apprieciate that you try hard to reach out to us in what I think are very private parts of your life - to the point that they're often painful to bring up for you.
We read them, we feel empathy as much as we can, we continue to listen and read what your write. We're well wishers, friends, strangers. We apprieciate you digging deep to share with us.
I often find myself drawn to misery for a short period when I often feel down. I then begin to feel better, and do what I can to take others with me, if they're willing to.
I don't know what your wish is, but I hope you get it.
puts his arms around you and gives you a big hug
Heal with time, be stronger and grow happier Karolina.
Hey Twinkle Toes... What I think you are wishing for is the greatest gift of all, and nobody deserves it as much as you! One thing you really need to have is PATIENCE!!! Its the greatest Miracle of them all Karolina and it will happen to you when the time is right! XX
I don't usually write too many posts like that. Because I don't want people to start pittying me or feel sorry for me. I write it down because I need to get it out there. I know I could just write it down and then leave it for myself, but I do not mind sharing this with all of you. I'm not going to say what it's regarding.. Not just yet.
Who are you by the way? The first anonymous comment?
And thank you S. You know me.. No patience whatsoever :X
But hopefully it will all work out in the end xx
I think you should read a book called The Secret (by Rhonda Byrne). It's a good book if you feel like you need to change things in life.
Hiya Karo,
I think I can take a calculated guess as to what you want.
All, I can say is to give it time. Little miracles do happen, and maybe one will come your way soon.
I won't say anymore, don't want to give it away.
hugs
Alan
yeah i got a gist of what your on about. If it is then you can't regret decisions like that, just move forward. Every choice you've made in your life has lead you to where you are right now. So if your happy now then it was for sure the right decision. As 'V.I.C.K.I' the super-dooper computer said in I-ROBOT, my logic is flawless. <3
Hey.. that book "the Secret" is really really good. Well worth a read!
Tack Malin :) I will have a look for it in the bookshop over the weekend.
Phil the problem is that I did not decide for myself when it happened.. Other people did..
Hence why I said I wish I had been stronger..
But I know what you mean. I guess my life would have been very different today.. The problem is
that I've never forgiven myself.. But I'm trying..
Thank you all for your loving words and caring.
Means alot to me. Huggles <3
Great! :)
In the meanwhile you can have a look at this website. It will give you a hint what it's about.
http://www.thesecret.tv/
I don't know you but I like your blog and you come accross as very clever and like someone who likes to read so..hopefully the book will help you see things from a different perspective. Just like it helped me! :)
Thank you so much Malin :) I appreciate your words and support. I am so glad you like my blog :)
I will get the book tomorrow :) I will let you know what I think on here.
You are right, I love to read. All the time :) I've picked up that book several times in the bookshop, but then walked away without getting it. But will get it this time.
Have a wonderful weekend :)
