Reality
Being back in reality sucks.
I know it’s not easy for anyone out there to understand what I’m going through at the moment.
It’s not even easy for me to get my head around this.
Went back to work on Monday.. Clearly not ready for it..
But had to.. I hate feeling helpless and like I’m not doing well enough.
Another thing that gets to me is when people ask me “How are you?”.
Makes me want to scream.
People in work don’t know why I was off. And I don’t want to tell them.
Just gets to me when people say “cheer up”, “it’s not that bad”..
If they only knew…
I feel like giving up.. But I can’t.. I can’t let people down..
I can’t afford giving up. I need this job to pay for bills, food etc.
Can’t talk to anyone about this.. They won’t understand.
I just want to be “normal” again. I want to be happy again.
Don’t want to feel like the world is collapsing around me.
I’m fighting the urge to just lay down and cry.
I am trying to be strong. For me..
Just wish people understood..
